I know, I know. I've been quiet for a while. *Quit with the nagging, Ma!*
Please forgive me, lovely readers and fans of turtle memes, as I tell you the story of how it all went out the window this time...
*No eyerolls, please Madam. You can wait until you've read it all first.*
Now, it wasn't a simple case of downright neglect and laziness. I promise, I really do.
I will give you the reasons for my Murder Mystery style disappearance once and for all.
Life and shizzle got in the way, ok.
Well, namely my mental illness, if I'm really being really truly honest...
For the past few months, I've been burrowing myself away into a little coffee shop shaped shell.
Working hard, licking my wounds and earning my way as a Waitress in East London.
Basically, I've been doing all I can to keep my brain quiet and keep going with my life...
You see, last June I had a nervous breakdown.
No, it wasn't like all that. It wasn't like I was crying daily in public, lying helplessly in bed and unable to get out of bed in the morning...It was infact, exactly like that.
Just being, was a difficulty.
While I was on this so-called 'mini break,' the last thing I could do was think... let alone write about what I was going through.
As much as I wanted to - and to share what I was experiencing with you!
I wanted so much to reach out. But it was not my time to, I guess.
And in a way, I knew then, as I know now... writing would mark the beginning of my healing process. That was far too scary to think about. And that wasn't something I was prepared to face, until now.
Waitressing - and dropping Flat Whites onto unsuspecting customer - every day in East London, I've been slowly but surely building back my confidence, chatting and meeting new people and getting a handle myself again, and the community that surrounds me.
I've made friends with a Community Cafe, building relations where we supply them with our leftover bread, and generally immersing myself in the patchwork of people that is ole' London Town.
Helping others, running coffee with the shakiest hands on record - (embarrassing confessions to come) - and being active has really kept my muddled mind at semi peace for a few months.
But I guess my mini break is finally coming to it's end.
It's time to pick up the quill, and log back in to the real world.
Now, finally - at long last - I AM READY TO WRITE AGAIN!
HORRAY! I hope the Blogging World will welcome me back.
Goodbye, self-doubt! Adios, low self-esteem! And piss off, anxiety!
And I CAN'T WAIT this time, to write and write and write... without a pause, this time...
I am back. I am writing. And no one - especially not me - is going to stop...me.